Donnerstag, 24. September 2009


Who am I? A cross-wearing (but non-religious) swordsmanship-training and photo-taking girl with (occasionally) purple hair... But does this count as an identity? What else is there to me than the things I do or the way I look? There definetely has to be something more.
Yet I am incapable of grasping it for I'm not really around myself that much. I just happen to know everything I'm saying and thinking...
Would be nice to have someone sincerely judging me. To define who or what I am more closely. Can't really say that I'm having an identity crisis, just wondering what I am to others. Because all I am is the marks anyone else left on me.
I am what other people made me and try to convince myself that I'm creating my own future. Strange, isn't it?

1 Kommentar:

  1. You are what you're doing. you like to have a cross as an accessory, you like the japanese way of sword, you like to take photos. the things you do are the things you like, so it comes from your feeling, there is no one who forced you to do these things. there is an identity which you have in your mind of yourself. of course it counts as identity.
    I think all is you. in fact you know, or should know best about yourself, other people just see a facet of it, some more, some less.
    for example. someone who does the sword thing with you. he just knows, that you're interested in sword thing. but if you talk together maybe you will mention, that you are doing photography. so he thinks "ah, it's not just sword thing, she is also photographing" so he won one of your facets. before, your "identity" if you want to call like that, was "sword"-girl, now it's "sword and photography"-girl. but it's still you?! right?
    or you might have an experience while doing sword thing: "ah, this move is beautiful", some people might don't understand. but this thought that you find certain things beautiful might be caused by your experiences in photography. but other people who just know you like the "sword"-girl ask themselves: "hm, why does she think like that? I suppose she does also something else apart from sword". so they are, maybe unconsciously aware that you have an identity, more facets, than just sword.

    and to your last question: there is much in your head, there is much in the head of each of us. but it's our work how much we let other people to share our "head". so I would call it like "you are what you let the people know about yourself." it's not that people make you. i understand well your thought, I have it as well, had it more in the past. now I try to think like what I wrote now.