Distance...

... she felt lonely ...

There were always people around her, yet she was alone. Alone with her mind and all the thoughts swirling around in her head. It felt like there were invisible walls all around her that nobody could break through.
She tried to hide it, of course and succeeded in doing it. It was ok when she had some tasks that needed to be accomplished... assignments waiting to be finished with. It was when there was nothing to do that she was alone again... thoughts rolling in on her and drowning her in endless thoughts. There was no way she could escape them... she was aware of that.

It was time for feeling alone again... and everything faded. Finally alone again, she thought.
And she let herself go... let loose of everything she wanted to hold for it was useless...
All she needed to know was the fact that she was alone... At least one thing she was sure of in a world of uncertainties. This was the information she was able to hold on to. A realisation she would be able to make at any time.
There was so much she had forgotten over the years; her friends, her love, maybe even herself... she couldn't be sure... It was now that she couldn't think anymore. Like her thoughts ricocheted from the walls surrounding her and kept flowing in and out of her head...
There was nothing else to do for now exept of accepting her loneliness. Loneliness was an interesting word to her... she somehow liked the sound of it. Yet she didn't want to be lonely anymore. But what could she do?

Loneliness was her only friend... and distance to everyone the only relation she was able of keeping stable... This was it. She needed to accept it... and a new feeling built up insider her;
Bitterness...