I can't

Why does it always have to be black and white? Where has the grey gone?
I don't know what exactly IS wrong, but everything just doesn't seem to feel right.

I hate the fact that my greatest days are always darkened by something else... Maybe I'll just have to do things on my own for once, without anyone around me able to destroy it. Probably the right thing to do then. In the end my heart and my soul are my true dictators, huh?

It's way to complicated... and I'm totally losing it. It's like sand in my bare hands.
And I'm a disabled...

Right now I'm rehabilitating I guess. Just need more pleasant events...