How it works

Ever had a great mood in the middle of the night without having sex? xD
Wow, I'm in the best mood possible now. This was by far the best day (well it was more the evening) I had in a while. Pumped up with good spirits again and I'll let my soul shine. (just as I was told to a while ago) :3

Just returned from Kenjutsu training about half an hour ago (by now it's an hour, haha). Yes, I was surprised too, but when you don't have any time limits, you'll keep focused and do everything until the end. It even was one of the best lessons I had so far. Since our master's out of town, there are only a few people coming. So Pab can pass on some little secrets to us. And I was the luckiest today for I got to train with him almost all the time. Even he complained about telling me too much stuff. But it was awesome. I learned soooooo much. And it helped me to improve a huge step. So I was even able to "teach" a student who's just about to get his Hakama. :D *grin*

So just for those who are interested... in a swordfight and in training it's actually not about doing the Katas right. It's about you feeling comfortable and being safe. Even if you do the wrong steps or make mistakes, what's most important is to stay calm and try to improve it. The other Len who's about to do his Hakama Test was kind of sad and anxious today because he didn't feel good doing the test. He thought if he might pass it was just because he's the only student out of the old Dojo left and that he wouldn't deserve to wear a Hakama. But is it really about how long he's been doing it and how well he can do the Katas? Not at all...
His test actually was his training until now. It was about how hard he tried to improve and about if he did it with heart and soul. This was what he needed to understand. Our whole existance is a test. Sometimes for others, sometimes for ourselves. We are forced to take a lot of tests (school for example or abitur and bachelor stuff) but we actually attend them to prove ourselves, don't we? This is something even I didn't realise until tonoght. And it makes me feel really good for I know that I always try the hardest I can. Even if the results are mediocrite... it doesn't entirely matter... it's more important for me not to give up. And it will be aprechiated in the end.
So now I'm just like wow. I'm so confident, nobody could beat me now. It feels wonderful... it's been a while, for sure.

Another thing I learned today is that people whom you can't stand don't have to dislike you automatically. Seems like your work is aprechiated even if you don't want to impress your Profs. Was told today (and only one time before) that my Prof doesn't worry about my projects... he know's it'll be good... And that from a Prof I don't like at all, I'm so lucky.

And it's not over yet. Uploaded my portfolio on some modelling page thingy and got a lot of requests within a few days, which is a great honor for me. And not only bad/ugly models, even some with great potential. Looks like I'll have a lot of shoots wthin the next few months. I can't be any happier. Finally out of my creativity and action crisis ^_____^

Feels good to blog again... or at leat to fnally have something to talk about. Although it's nice reading about your lifes, too. It's just a little depressing to read your interesting blogs and not being able to tell you something interesting in return...
... by the way I need to get my head into learning Japanese again. Sat next to a guy who seemed to learn it in the U-Bahn this evening and wasn't able to read anything exept of "desu". Kind of embarassing actually. Although I have to say there was a lot of Kanji written on his paper. Always nice to read other peoples sheets *haha*

So have a great evening/or day by now as well and let your souls shine.
:D