Besides

Am trying to fous more on my photography this year and have been doing another shooting last weekend. My first time beauty shooting. What's funny about it is, that I actually like the images we took besides the actual shooting better than my series. ^^" Damn.
But then who actually cares? I love it.

See the beautiful Amanda who seems to be more fairy than human.

Shooting again

It's been months and months since I have last been shooting. That was horrible :P

First project for this year is part of a university class that I'm doing. Have to shoot a few series this semester. No other specifications.
First idea was to shoot a Lingerie Editorial in a church. Also wanted to take up the nun-image.
And here's the result ;)



Model: Aljona / MUA: Jasmin / Assistants: Marcus + Achim / Fashion: Zugeschnürt

uni

Feels good to be in university again. Am very relaxed and balanced these days, which feely extremely nice. All the internships strain has fallen off of me.

University offers some nice classes this semester which can be described as useful as well. So yay :D Have many new projects to work on and am greatly looking forward to these. First shooting will be upcoming monday.

more later...

How to live a fucking good life

Now that I'm done with my internship I feel a slight relief. Did have quite much responsibility, which led to stress I haven't known before. And I actually don't like being that responsible on so many different fields. But that done (and my much desired trip to Japan cancelled, unfortunately) there was enough time to regenerate and relax. Too much time actually.

Am now looking quite forward to university starting again. Quite confident with my choice of classes as well. I didn't choose Photography as my field of interest for the classes were rather boring. Also I'm not that much into documentary photograph and stills... too bad :P
So we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Also I was offered a cool spare-time job that I will apply for the upcoming friday.
And gosh I need to redo my portfolio anytime soon. Just put that on my growing To-Do list -_-

Many changes and decisions ahead... will keep you updated ;)

2011

Plans for 2011

.get my own EOS 5D Mk II
.shoot at least 3 beauty editorials
.organize more photoshoots
.earn some money with my photography

.improve my cutting skills
.learn much more Japanese
.learn to play the violin or piano
.grow more self confident

.visit at least 5 new cities
.develop my own analogue films
.lose weight
.go out with friends more

Inspiration

I'd like to dedicate this post to a photographer that greatly inspires me;

JINGNA ZHANG

It's kind of hard to explain what exactely it is that fascinates me that much about her work, but I'll gladly try.
There is such a subtile beauty to all of her photos that I can't resist. Somehow they seem magical, unreal. On the first look her photos seem to be so easy and natural, but if you look at them closer there's so much emotion and depth to them that you can easily get lost.

I love the way she portraits people, how she manages to capture the essence of a person in just one look. And without doing too less or too much. It just seems natural.
I love the way she uses fabrics and materials and integrates them in her photos. The floating, silky fabrics or the deep black water.
I love the specific colours thet can be found in almost all of her photos. The fairytale-like paleness of her models.
I love the models she works with. They are stunning and of a beauty I have seldomly witnessed.

I am very thankful to be allowed to share the moments she captures. And only by seeing her images I feel greatly inspired to truly grasp the beauty of life around me. And to be able to capture moments like this by myself someday...

We can only then be successful if we clearly know what we're looking for. If we are aware of the things that remain unseen by others. And I think Jingna has found it and made it her gift to us...


And here's some of my favourites of her work:

Happiness

I haven't been myself these last months. I always felt like being at the brink of losing myself completely. An unbelievable sadness has overwhelmed me and until now I wasn't able to grasp why...

I think I've made a mistake about a year ago. Back then my decision was right but by now it has proven to be terribly wrong. I have been searching for a year now. earching almost exactely for what I have abandoned back then. Am currently trying to fix it somehow and am curious for the results of this.

Will let you know.

You

You are a strange creature.
Walking the earth like you were of the usual kind. Mingling with the big great mass trying not to stand out. Yet we both know you're different. There's something about you that I cannot resist. You're my gravity, my inspiration, my... lost treasure. The safety I needed to grow.
I lost track of where your path led you. Forgot how to recognize you - grew ignorant of your appeal.
Where are you? How can I find you again? When will I stop being lonely?
We always wish for what we've lost. For what we've left behind and what we can't own.
I wish to find you again. And some time I will.

... for all prayers are heard...

♥

Lapse

Weeks go by in a blur.
Strange, because every single day feels like an eternity... over and over again. I definetely feel that I'm missing something important. Yet I can't name it. An invisible pain that restricts me in every possible way. I feel it. Too strong, too prominent. But this doesn't change anything unfortunately. What am I to change if I don't know what to look for, what to hope for, what to long for?




Does it make sense to seek the unseekable?

the travel bug

Japan has definetely infected me. Since I've been there I can hardly think of any other country I want to see. The only thing on my mind is: I need to go back there! Need to smell the japanese air again, reunite with the wonderful people I met there, go out and eat, sing Karaoke... so many things...
It's gotten worse and worse with time passing by and especially when more and more people confirm the fact that they are going there! By now my subconscious mind is almost tortouring me with thoughts and even dreams about Japan. This whole night I dreamt how I was packing my suitcases for the journey. Sorting things out, organising everything, talking about what I needed to pack and think of. In the middle of the dream I realised that I only had a flight ticket to Tokio but not back...

And when I woke up I felt... exhausted. All that work for nothing... just a dream.
So today, I looked for flights directed to Tokio. I even found a few good ones. Mostly more expensive than the one I took last time but then I found a cheaper one...
Was almost about to book it right at the moment but didn't dare to. A good decision I'm sure now. Would have flown with Turkish Airlines (wasn't that the line that had so many plane crashes last year?) and would have had to stay at the airport of Istanbul for no less than 20 hours on both flights!!! o.O Now that's sick... The onl advantage with Turkish Airlines was that I could take up to 30kg with me *hahahar*
Had a little chat with my mum who was just worried about where I would stay.

That's fixed now. Can go back to the family that adopted me last time, they'd be happy to have me back. And I'm even happier that they'll let me stay with them again :D
So all I need to do now is: find the perfect flight and then save as much money as I can... because at the moment I can onl pay the flights and half of what I need to give the family :P
And I'm gonna take back SO much stuff :D Even more than last time I guess. And I know exactely where I want to go *lavishes over all the possibilities*

God I'm so happy...
will keep you updated <3