lopsided balance

I always thought you could only be good at one... job or relationship.
And until now that has always been a fact for me. Yet at the moment, both sides are equally good. Within my relationship I feel a safety I have never imagined before and it is all so shockingly perfect that it makes me wonder from time to time if there might be something awfully wrong and I just haven't noticed. I found my happiness again and am now more sure than ever to have found the right partner for me. Also I have just started my new job at a big fashion and lifestyle magazine. I was really lucky to get that job immediately without even knowing the magazine at first. It could have been bound to be you might say. I don't even know how I did it, but the boss liked me a lot and agreed to let me work for him by the next day which of course is very uncommon. It's so much fun working there and everyone is so nice and friendly... I felt at home after just a few hours there.
Am curiois to see where this will take me and how it all goes on... maybe this will be my time, finally.

Yay.

Bachelor

Yay, I am a Bachelor now!
Have had my final presentation this monday and passed with a degree of 1,0. *proud*
Our Bachelor exhibition launches tomorrow night. Hope to see you guys there ;)

system error

This years graduates of btk proudly invite you to their Bachelor-exhibition.

Repeatedly our fingers keep tapping on smudgy displays. No reaction. The machine is being cursed and shaken. Only then we notice the keyboard and buttons. With an enthusiastic push of the key we finally recieve our ticket.
Sometimes it's mistakes like these that yank us out of our usual hebetude. They force us to rethink our usual behavior and to take in our surroundings anew.
The title of this years (Bachelor-)exhibition, "system error" suggests, that there's usually a problem leading the way for a new idea. The exhibition of 2011/12s bachelor year at Berlin University of Applied Science (btk) extends over two floors of the university. Each one of the 56 works intends to creatively solve a problem. Within the discourse between digital and alalogue media, ideas will not only be made visible, but even made come alive.
The graduates of the majors Photography, Communicationdesign, Motiondesign and Interfacedesign proudly present their various works and thereby create a unique exhibition.

Vernissafe: 03.2.2012, 19:00
Exhibition period: 04.-09.2.2012
Opening hours: daily 15:00 to 19:00

Location: Berlin University of Applied Science
Bernburger Str. 24-25
10963 Berlin

click on Picture to see a little teaser to my bachelor project

Well, it's a first

As you might know, I'm not really a party person. But when in great company, even I am able to have my share of fun while partying :D It's been two parties now that I really enjoyed. Maybe I can be a sociable party person as well haha.

My former boss and photographer Felix organized a party in his photostudio. That means I got a chance to meet a lot of the awesome people I met during my internship again. Oh how I have missed them all. It was a blast. And- as supposed to be at our studio party- he bulit up a little photo box that all the guests gladly used. Here are some of the results :D






After we got thrown out of the studio we didn't really want to go home immediately.
Somehow we got the chance to attend a (mostly russian) model party at puro sky lounge. And gosh how much fun that was. We had the most amazing view from the 22nd floor, free drinks all night, cool (but very loud) music and the cooles party crew ever. Yes, I did drink too much but I definitely want to go again...
Am still waiting for those pictures, so be prepared.

Baroque Coco

From one of my recent shootings. Location is in the woods of Tegel. (next time I'll find some place closer) Model is the lovely Lena, Make Up was done by the funtastic Karina and the awesome dresses are from designers: Peter Merö, Mila Miyahara, Antonia Goy and Crusz.
This was (organisation-wise) my largest shooting yet. And it was so much fun :D
Need to repeat that.

Next term I'll mainly focus on my bachelor thesis and the accompanying project. Hope to be able to do a few shoots besides though... But be prepared, the bachelor project will be super awesome!

Also, I'm gonna get my little puppy by the end of this week. Am SO looking forward to that little fellow. He's the cutest thing I've ever seen :3 Hope to be able to handle him right though. But guess it's all just a matter of time and endurance.

I'll update you again soon

Let's go colour

Have been doing quite a lot new projects these last few months. This time, I thought I could go more colourful than I usually do. And I really like the outcome :)

Model was the wonderful Anna and Make Up was done by Miriam.

bygones be bygones

I miss training...
I miss all the nice people I had around me there. I miss my trainers always calm expression. I miss the tension before showing what you can do. I miss the exitement when getting the perfect hit. I miss P motivating me.
I miss sweating and linking it. I miss the energy you feel after training. I miss my sword. I miss the atmosphere. I miss my thoughts of R. I miss both K and R. I miss our conversations. I miss the deep inspiration I always get when I'm around them. I miss philosophy. I miss poetic thoughts. I miss my philosophy teacher from school. I miss the easiness of that time. I miss learning something new every day. I miss the anticipation before a test. I miss my hometown. I miss the old red car I had back then. I miss the freedom I felt. I miss my own carelessness.
To cut things short: I miss the past... a lot.

And it seems like I can't get all those things back as easily as I'd wish. I want to continue training but have a lack of motivation, time and money. I want to visit K and R but am too shy to do so. I want to go back to Japan but it's impossible at the moment. I want to be a kid again but can't.
Of course things change. Of course life gets better an better. Of course I get many new chances and experience amazing things. Yet why can't things change back? Why can't I feel like back then again? Why does time always flow forward instead of backward? Why can't we go back? Why does my head permit me to go back? Why can't I go?

Would it be a disappointment to go back? Would I like it that much? Would it be the same? Could it be even better? I will never know.

Besides

Am trying to fous more on my photography this year and have been doing another shooting last weekend. My first time beauty shooting. What's funny about it is, that I actually like the images we took besides the actual shooting better than my series. ^^" Damn.
But then who actually cares? I love it.

See the beautiful Amanda who seems to be more fairy than human.

Shooting again

It's been months and months since I have last been shooting. That was horrible :P

First project for this year is part of a university class that I'm doing. Have to shoot a few series this semester. No other specifications.
First idea was to shoot a Lingerie Editorial in a church. Also wanted to take up the nun-image.
And here's the result ;)



Model: Aljona / MUA: Jasmin / Assistants: Marcus + Achim / Fashion: Zugeschnürt

uni

Feels good to be in university again. Am very relaxed and balanced these days, which feely extremely nice. All the internships strain has fallen off of me.

University offers some nice classes this semester which can be described as useful as well. So yay :D Have many new projects to work on and am greatly looking forward to these. First shooting will be upcoming monday.

more later...

How to live a fucking good life

Now that I'm done with my internship I feel a slight relief. Did have quite much responsibility, which led to stress I haven't known before. And I actually don't like being that responsible on so many different fields. But that done (and my much desired trip to Japan cancelled, unfortunately) there was enough time to regenerate and relax. Too much time actually.

Am now looking quite forward to university starting again. Quite confident with my choice of classes as well. I didn't choose Photography as my field of interest for the classes were rather boring. Also I'm not that much into documentary photograph and stills... too bad :P
So we'll see what tomorrow brings.

Also I was offered a cool spare-time job that I will apply for the upcoming friday.
And gosh I need to redo my portfolio anytime soon. Just put that on my growing To-Do list -_-

Many changes and decisions ahead... will keep you updated ;)